A Love Jones,  Sheryl's Pearls Blog,  This Thing Called Life

For ‘Cute’ Girls Who Have Coveted Sexiness

All your life you have been ‘cute.’ From pigtails and toothless grin at age six to heels and full face of make-up on the other side of 30, you have been ‘cute.’

It could be attributed to your baby face or soft voice, maybe some combination of the two. Whatever it is, men and women, young and old, have always looked at you and seen ‘cute.’ There is an ‘awwww’ in their tone even as they say it, so there is no confusion about its definition.  ‘Cute’ – more adorable than alluring, more sweet than sultry, more darling than diva, more virtuous woman than vixen.

You totally understand that ‘cute’ is a good thing.  You even recognize that there are plenty of women who would like to be ‘cute.’  Yet as is often the case in life, you find yourself wanting that which eludes you.

Yes, some days you want to be more than ‘cute.’  Some days you want to feel like a natural woman, and woman is not quite what comes to mind when you hear the word ‘cute.’  Some days you want to be sexy, desirable, hot, more ‘queen b’ than princess, more ‘bad chick’ than ‘good girl,’ the kind of qualities that find themselves into rap lyrics.

But that is not you.  You smile when it would be more appropriate to ‘serve face.’  You are nervous giggles and dropped gazes in situations that warrant bold stares.  Your voice is high-pitched and laced with a sickening amount of sugar, seemingly incapable of a purr.

Yet while you have hyped up some women’s ability to consistently turn heads, you have downplayed the qualities that turn hearts.  You have overlooked the charm that accompanies ‘cute,’ the disposition that makes someone not only nice to look at but pleasant to be around.  You assume that ‘sweet’ means ‘easily taken advantage of,’ when it could very well be translated to ‘worthy of protection.’  You hear ‘cute’ and think ‘baby,’ discounting the cuddles and kissable cheeks that come with that word, the type of genuine affection that adulthood tends to lack.  You have assumed that because sex appeal is not one of your most prominent attributes, that somehow it is not present; you have allowed a world of medically reengineered body parts and overt sexuality to make you forget the power of subtlety.  You are still curves and rolling hills and regions that he would like to explore.

What Mr. Right-For-You knows and you need to remember, is that you are that and so much more.  You are smiles that light up a room, dimples and endearing imperfections.  You are grown woman with glimpses of youthful innocence.  You are soul food and cozy fire during 10-inch snow storms, lemonade and cool breeze on a hot and humid summer day.  You are ballads and whispered prayers, gospel and Rhythm and Blues.  And as much as you want to send his heart racing every time your eyes meet, he is drawn to your ability to steady it.  Yes, you are passion, but he thanks God that you are also peace. He looks in your eyes and sees home.

So people are right.  You are ‘cute.’  But stop taking it upon yourself to put a ‘just’ in front of that term.  You think of it as a limiting description of your appearance, but as a woman who recently used the word volunteered, “I mean everything about you.”

Sometimes ‘cute’ is not just a look, sometimes it is a state of being.  When you finally grasp that and stop comparing it to what is celebrated in popular culture, you will stop coveting.  You will appreciate that your ‘cute’ comes without effort.  You will realize that ‘cute’ and ‘sexy’ are not mutually exclusive terms.  You will stop waiting to graduate from ‘cute’ to something more womanly.  You will allow yourself to simply be.

SheryLeigh is a woman who loves God, words, and people. She is currently living and loving as an author, blogger, poet, and spoken word artist in the Washington, D.C., area. A communicator by education and trade, SheryLeigh holds a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism from Howard University and a Master of Arts in Management from Webster University.