In This Moment: A Birthday Post

The Monday before last, I was strolling between stores at an outdoor shopping center with my grandfather.

“You had a good day yesterday,” he said.

He had been there for my “good day,” seated in the front row at my book launch event, smiling at some points during my presentation and nodding thoughtfully during others.  He had been one of many supporters present as I realized a lifelong dream.  For two hours, I signed copies of my first published book, shared pieces of my heart through poetry, and laughed and gushed the way I suppose one does when they first introduce their ‘baby’ to the world.  Yes, it was a good day.

A few days later, a friend asked if I was still on a high from the book signing.  Ehhhh, not quite.  I was glad it happened, but already found myself caught up in the next phase of the process.  Though I planned to start online sales one week after the book signing, I started to worry that maybe that was too long to ask people to wait.  I knew it could take days for it to post to Amazon, so I began that process before I even changed out of my launch party dress.  Worried about tomorrow, cutting short the beauty of today.

Yet even in my rushing, my experience was not ruined.  I’m still in awe that there is a book with my name on it.  I’m still thrilled when someone says they enjoyed it.  I’m still giddy when I see someone with a copy of it, whether in person or on social media.  I’m still thankful each time someone purchases it, and I am humbled by people I can tell made it a priority to buy it.  I guess I am still on the high my friend asked me about.  I’m still having a good day.

However, I know that good days are fleeting.  When we received bad news less than a week after the launch event, my grandfather referred to good days yet again.  “We live for the good days,” he said.  “We do our best to make it through the bad ones, but we live for the good days.”

Good now suddenly shifted to bad, I wondered whether we give the good days the pomp and circumstance they deserve.

We spend so much of life in expectation.  We walk through days and even seasons of life holding our breath, waiting for something amazing to happen.  However, when those joyous moments finally come, when the good days we have been living for eventually arrive, do we make it a point to truly experience them?  Do we inhale enough air on that good day to help us breathe through the bad ones that are sure to follow?  Do we store up a decent supply of happiness to get us through the inevitable sadness?  Do we deliberately live on the good days?

My birthday is two days away.  I’m in that reflective place that accompanies turning a year older.  I know there are things that I need to work on, both in my writing and in my being.  But not today.  Not even in the next few days.  I have a little more living to do in this moment before I shift my focus to the next.  I’m like a puppy with her head hanging out the window of a moving car.  I’ve spent many, many days waiting to breathe, so I’ll take my time gulping down this fresh air.  It’s still a good day.

Photo courtesy of Rich Helmer, Unsplash.